Artificial Intelligence

 I am so frustrated lately cause in my Twitter feeds, it's full of people going against Ai art.

Okay, look. There's no doubt that a human made art is much better than Ai art. Of course. How can you compare a human's product to a robot's? Of course robots will lose. Robots are human made. While humans were made by God, The Creator.. I mean, yeah, we're gonna lose either way.

But I think it's wrong to go against Ai just cause you think Ai art is ugly. Or that it's taking people's jobs. Ai is an advancement in technology. Which you cannot stop.

Okay, if you want to defend artists; I'm sorry to pop your bubbles but Ai is not your enemy. It's their employers. Even before Ai existed, manga writers, game developers have been exploited to their bones, all because they do it out of their own interests. So they don't need much money to hold them to their desks. Their interests is the reason they're doing their jobs. So it's easy to exploit people like that.

Know your enemy.

I mean, your calculators are Ai for goodness sake, what kind of Ai are you fighting?

"You can say that, just wait until Ai take your job"

Okay, the reality is, Ai can't just simply take a human's job if their jobs are exceptional. If your art is good, people who knows it's value will seek it. So, don't worry, focus on ourselves. And learn to adapt.

Thank you.

Forever is a long time

 I used to say I had forever to forget about him. Who? My crush of course. Do you remember Sir Rockapebbly? 

Well, turns out forever is a long time.

I got to know a fair amount of guys but none of them could make me feel...happy? glad? I'm not sure what's the exact feeling. But Sir Rockapebbly, he effortlessly gave me that feeling. 

It's just a kind of excited feeling. 

Like finding something you lost. 

Like seeing someone you missed.

I don't know how to forget him. Maybe I don't like him anymore. But I still am curious. Or maybe I'm just too free.

It's not good when you start missing someone you shouldn't.

Oh and other updates? Well, I'm getting by. I finally have some time to explore my hobbies but I haven't done them yet. I still need more time to recuperate.

I hope I will get the time to myself. Some day. Some day.

I'm backkk

 It's nothing exciting really. I just feel like writing after a while. Life has been busy for some time but then it passed and now I'm left with little to nothing to do. So I resort to writing again. Originally I want to write stories but no scenes came to mind..

Wait, maybe I can just proceed with the story that was conjured up by my mind while I was sleeping..

I actually have a lot to do but you know me..

It was a weird request from my superior.

"Hey, Sora, are you free this Saturday?"

I was hesitating to answer as it was my day off. I dont wanna work on that day.

"yeah, somewhat. why?"

"Can you help me? My daughter actually. She's young and wanted to join a marathon but she's too shy to do it alone. We can't accompany her that day so can you help me and accompany her on that day?"

usually I would never agree but because this kind hearted superior has asked me so nicely, I feel like helping. I have nothing to do on that day anyway. Better keep myself busy or I'll be reminded of him again. Anything but him.

"Okay, i'll do it"

And so that's how I end up here, under this hot scorching sun, surrounded by people I dont know, searching for an unfamiliar face. I guess i'll just wait here. My superior said his daughter's name is sunny.

15 minutes passed by and this sunny hasnt appeared, The marathon is about to start. guess i'll just go and register our names first. 

So I walked up to the registration booth and the staff asked for our names, so I said " Sora and Sunny"

When I heard a male voice behind me saying " Sunny won't be coming, write my name instead, it's Sunjae"

And I whipped my head to see who it was, but who was I expecting, of course it's an unfamiliar face.I crooked my eyebrow, signaling my confusion at how this guy knew Sunny and the weirdest of all, how did he know me.

"I'm Sunny's brother Sunjae. sunny wont be coming today, she got cold feet,."

" oh, okay."

She understood. " so you're going to join the marathon?we dont have to do this if you dont want to,  Sunny was the reason I joined this after all."

" Let's just do it till the end. It's a waste of registration money."

Sunjae then left to run first, leaving her behind.

" we can just ask for a refund though." she said to quietly, knowing Sunjae wasnt listening to her already. She pursed her lips, resigning to fate and started running, although a bit lazily.

it was about 3 km and the path was getting a bit steeper. Sora felt like dying. 

'The uphill battle aint for me' she thought, She saw Sunjae;s back ahead of her, his movement quite steady. 

Your Life, Your Way

Growing up I always hear people say, follow your heart, not others. And growing up, I never truly understood what that meant.

In movies, they always show that people who follow their dreams are happy and people who don't aren't happy. I think they need to show something deeper than that. Wherever you are, following your dreams or others, you are always going to struggle. As long as you are living, hardships will always find their way to you. 

But the feel when you decide your life for yourself is different. It means you are taking responsibilities for yourself, and it will contribute to your growth as a person. At least, you won't be a person who's living from weekend to weekend. Because to decide your life for yourself, you need to have a goal. You need to pursue something. And to pursue something you need to have knowledge because otherwise you won't find something that is worthy enough to sacrifice your time and energy into.

So, it's all about taking responsibility for yourself. In Islam, it is highly encouraged to do so. Because you bear your own sins, and when you do good deeds, the rewards are also yours. It doesn't affect others. Listening to these speakers, like Nouman Ali Khan and Omar Suleiman, they always tell you to be hard in yourself and take responsibility for your own life. Don't just follow the flow. Have the courage to think and defy others, in a good way of course. When you listen to others, you must have your own knowledge prior to that, and don't just absorb things like a sponge but be like a filter.

This is a reminder to myself too, to better myself. Because I only recently had the capability to think, and bit by bit, recognizes where is the river and where is the land. Whether I'm just floating in the river or am I walking on land. And if you don't dare yourself to think, it is very easy to fall for the tricks of this world. In whatever aspects : study, friends, fashion, finance. 

Struggling.

 I just decided that I'm not good at making up stories. I put this unrealistic expectations on myself. For example, I have to be able to create a world, characters and story plots. And I have always been stressed because I have a constant writer's block. I cannot make progress with my stories and have always been mad at myself for not trying harder.

But what if that is not the kind of writer I'm meant to become. Though I haven't finished most of my stories, I have written something else. I have 2 completed diaries. I didn't document my life but I wrote things like my thoughts on occurrences that happened in my life. A detailed analysis of what was really going on inside my mind. And that is a skill not many people have.

Because I am so honest with myself. I say an emotion for what it really is. At least I worded it prettily so people can read it, instead of just pretending it was never there. Because to have an emotion is not a sin. An emotion is reaction to something, right? 

I have this whole blog as an evidence too. I am a writer, just not a fictional writer. Maybe if I start writing about stories of my life, I can make progress. Just one problem though, I think my life is not interesting enough? Then Anis, those stories that you never finished are also boring right? Cause you never finished them.

I wrote a lot. Maybe I'll read them again tonight and you know, sort out my feelings. I'm my biggest fan after all.

New year

 I actually wanted to print some anime characters so I can paste it on the wall or something but I guess I'm not feeling too creative recently. And I just decided to update something since it's the new year or whatever.

So my new year resolution is to live as if I'm gonna die. Meaning if I were to die tomorrow, will I be okay doing what I'm doing today? 

And I've decided to not hold myself back in doing my hobby. I got kinda depressed trying to suppress myself from receiving joy through practicing my hobby and the result was I had no source of joy and my study was constantly killing me so I was borderline failing my course. It's a memory I want to forget anyway so let's not go into detail.

Anyway, I hope I will be more mature in living with people. And handling different types of people. I've also noticed recently that I'm the type that's bad at planning. Earlier I was watching Tokyo Revengers and imagined myself fighting and it turned out I have no idea what to do. I would just go into a fight and land whatever blow I can. Though it's probably because I've never sparred even once in my life so it's normal I won't know what to do.

Other than that, my life is uneventful. I really hadn't done anything I can be proud of. Though if you are interested, you can visit my youtube channel. I made some videos, very original idea hahhhahahaha That's one of the thing I'm proud of in my life.

Ah, maybe I will post some of the projects I've made in this blog. It makes no difference where I post it, no one's going to see it anyway so better put it here where it's easy to find. I'll try posting later. And maybe I can try being more serious at blogging. I read a manga where the girl is a blogger and it looked quite interesting. It's not that tiring and anyone can do it. If anyone can do it then I can do it too, and if I can do it then anyone can do it!!!

That's all from me, thank you.

Fantasy of Fate. (fanta-sea?)

To get stuck on someone just because you think that they are your fate is a bit...off. Don't you think?

To think that you worked very hard to become the best version of yourself, only for you to get hung up on someone that you're not even sure of..You're not sure about their personality and their outlook on life. I think it's a waste. It's a waste of all your effort to get to this point.

Throw away that little belief or hope that stems from nowhere. I know, we sometimes have fantasies of our one-sided love being returned in the end. And that someone actually has been loving us all this time and we don't have to look so far just to be happy. That we jut need to wait for that someone to make a move, or in other words, for our fate to reach us.

I now realized how childish that thought is. And yet I have been hoping for it to happen for the longest time. I am stupid indeed, Thank God I realized it in time.

For a good life partner, you have to assess them objectively. Not just settle on someone you don't even like just because you think it's fate.

"I like this person though he is not objectively attractive. He's not even my type. This must be fate." No. Girl, no.

I don't know what your attraction towards him is based on but if he does not reach your standard then that's not the one. Trust me, okay?

Evaluate objectively and after the bond is made, then that is your fate.