I honestly don't know.

It's been so long since I last wrote something in here.

So I recently read a manga?webtoon? anyway, I like how they portray a daddy's girl. But I guess, given the same wealth and power, any father would act the same. The healthy ones, not the ones that are sick. sickos. A father only by name.

It does not only apply to fathers actually. It applies to everyone. You can be something only by name if you don't have enough common sense. Like me.

My sister is very cute, I thought I'd do anything for her but turns out I don't? I mean, if she wants to eat food that I'm eating I definitely won't give it to her cos she still can't eat it but my parents would try to give it to her. I'm not saying that they're irresponsible. I'm saying, they'll try to make it possible first before deciding that it cannot happen. I guess that's why they're successful. I keep on saying no to this and that but they don't. Hmm, something to ponder I guess.

Don't you hate it when someone you've been defending turns out to be the person you deny them to be? Well, that's me to myself. Before this, I told myself that I'm different and I make up reasonable reasons for actions that I took. But I guess, I'm not all that. In the end, I'm just the person they told me I am.

I fail after saying I can do it.

It sucks being wrong.

But what to do. I'm just that stupid.

What even is pushing me to keep on living? My future? My sister? My family? God? Myself?

I don't know.