Reminder.

If one day I ever say "ah,it's so tiring being nice all the time. I want to change." Then this entry serves as a reminder that the 15 y/o me worked so hard to get to this point. Please don't change so easily. Being nice is everything you've ever wanted.

Not exactly being nice but being a character in a drama or in a movie that you admire. I always watch movies and read storybooks and I'll note the characteristics of the fictional characters that I admire and try hard to become like them. I came a long way. If you think now I have a bad personality then you wouldn't be able to look at my face 10 years ago because of the overwhelming hate.

I know, people usually work hard to achieve their dreams. Like some of the friends I met, they told me they wanted to become doctors since they were young and they study hard every day to be admitted to a medical school.

I'm also like that. I think my dream is to become a fictional character. Put aside the appearance because I can never look as good as the characters I admire but I at least want to have the same aura. It seems impossible right? I don't know,  people always tell "dare to dream" so now I'm dreaming of the impossible.

Maybe other people can have a nice personality easily. They don't even have to work for it, they're just naturally good. But for me it's not like that. Remember, each human is tested on different things.
I look at Itachi and think I want to be good to my siblings. I look at my friend and think, I want all my siblings to succeed in life. I look at Minato and think, I want to have a spouse like him. But wanting to be good to my parents sort of come from my own thinking because teachers in my school always emphasize the need to treat our parents well. Thanks teachers.

I have this ideal image of me and work hard towards it. So one day I can look at myself and say "I have become what I wanted. The pretty me that my 15 yo self dreamed of is standing right here."

So don't change so easily. You've planned your track carefully so stick to it.