I will be silent. I mean, I won't talk. I won't ask people anything, and I'm not telling people anything. Usually, I wear a blank expression. And if people ask me something, I'll hesitate to answer it.
Ah wait, I'm supposed to tell how I deal with it.
Well, at first I beat myself up first. NOT literally. I just say that "This result is expected from someone who didn't give her all. This is expected. You deserve this."
Then I think, this should be normal. It's not that bad, right? At this moment, I usually found out about my friend's results and of course, theirs are better than me. Then, I'll feel worse.
When this happens, I'll distract myself by watching movies or animes. It helps me forget, at least I don't feel like killing myself.
Lastly, when I'm finally tired of pretending and escaping, I'll end the denial stage by telling my parents about my results. You know, just face it. Only then will I try to truly fix myself.
I don't do much. First I torture myself, worse than what other people could do to me. Then, I'll feel really bad and try to forget the pain by watching movies, listening to musics, reading stories, being on clouds. Then I'll end it by telling my parents and accept their scoldings or whatever they have to tell me, it's my fault anyway. For how long can I run from it? Then I'll try to fix myself later. By doing various things that I deem right.
This doesn't really help, right? I'll try to improve my explanations. I want to be a writer after all. ^.~
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