2nd year

So hey, new sem started and I'm like a deer in front of a headlight.

I haven't quite collected myself yet, it's here and there, pieces of me. My mind is still at home with my sister.

My home is not my house anymore. I just realized that recently.

I have a lot to memorize and am still procrastinating. I know I shouldn't do this but laziness, you know?

It's impossible without revising. I'm gonna do it. Tomorrow. Because now is not the suitable time.

I have an idea. What about I expose my family to the social media? hahahahaha that sounds a lot like selling your family off for some fame.

So I'm not gonna do it. Sorry.

The Interview

The interview for this thing im studying.

First they gave me a situation and asked what I would do. So the situation is,

You are riding a bike, carrying an envelop that has RM2000 in it, and heading to a welfare center. The money is intended for people who lost their homes in a disaster that occurred recently. While riding, the money envelop slipped and fell on the road and you saw someone picking the envelop up after it fell down. You turned back and went to that person but that person said she didn't know anything.

So my answer was, dropping the money was my fault, stealing the money from me was her fault. So I'd interrogate her politely until she confesses (because I searched for the money already and it wasn't there) . As for my fault, I'd pay the RM2000 myself to the best of my ability. Maybe sell the bike I was riding.

Next station, I walked into the room and had to play a role. So, my role was, an inconsiderate friend who posted something insensitive online about this one friend and now that friend has cut off all contacts and gone off radar. Now, his sister is meeting me to ask for my explanation, maybe.

What I did : At first I defended myself but that clearly wasn't working so I acted like someone who made a mistake, admitted my mistake and apologized (repeatedly till that actress got nothing more to say and just stared at me in anger), then promised to find her little brother until he's found. and when he's found i'll apologize to him. maybe i forgot to tell her that i'd delete the post.

Next station is to test our empathy. So they just gave this situation with people in it and ask us to describe what each of the character was feeling. Trust me, this station was a piece of cake. And the interviewer was nice.

Next is the hardest station imo. They tested our knowledge about medic course. I stuttered a lot, shit, I didn't prepare for this hahah. Funny, right? I dived into a war without the most important weapon.

Last station, we had to talk about ourselves. I didn't do that well either. The interviewer asked what differentiates me from other people and I answered I can write things. And tried to explain how good I am at writing (when I myself know the truth) Then he asked, which secondary school you went to? and I answered. Then he said, that school got UA program right? And I said yes so he said that's what differentiates me. That I memorize the Quran and for a minute I had to sit back and think "what?"

So that's it. I admit, I got inspiration from reading other people's blogs. Sorry not sorry.

Expressing oneself

One thing I've always admired...How do you guys express yourself? How do you send a message to the other party of your true feelings? I think I'm so used to concealing my feelings that I don't really know how to communicate normally. I'm so used to being on the receiving ends (read : being nagged at)

And another thing, why is my personality online is different from when I'm offline? Which is the real me?

But those aren't really important. What's important is not being a burden to other people.

Do you know how hard it is to start doing something without being pushed? I can't even write an essay, a freaking essay, without a deadline.

That is trouble, don't you think?

And this song Silhouette by Kana Boon is really good. It's Naruto's opening song. I've been looking forward to it since I started watching Naruto. How I held back from listening to this song. Crazy how I unnecessarily restrain myself.

Look I end up talking about myself again. I've told myself again and again not to do this in my blog.
!