hi

Helllo. This is a test.

I just wanted to test this new keyboard my father bought, It's pretty cool with the colors and everything. Cool.

And the mouse is also cool.

And the killing at 2 mosques in Christchurch, Newzealand? I don't know. I feel kinda mad and I also pity those muslims who got killed. But at least they died in a mosque. Tho it's not the best of husnul khotimah.

What message did he want to show by killing people in a mosque? In a sacred place? A place where one can just be himself and lets his guard down? A place where people gather while doing that?

I'll see what they will do to him. I don't really hope for the laws to punish him because The Almighty is the one with the best punishment.

All is me fault.

Where do I turn to in times like this? A time when I feel like flipping everything in my room upside down?
Here. Where no one comes. Where no one can see me.

In movies they say it's not good to keep everything inside. Because some day, you might just explode from the tremendous pressure.

But what can I do? Where else do I go? I feel like I don't have anyone on my side.

Sure, my parents are more than ready to listen to my problems. But if I tell them, I will just worry them. They will think that this daughter doesn't know how to do even the smallest of tasks and only knows how to whine and sit around, wasting her life away.

Yes, it was my fault that I waited till the last minute to do everything. It's all my fault.

But just once, just once, I want someone to be on my side. And tell me that it's not my fault. That I did my best in my own way.

Until when do I have to keep comforting myself? My throat hurts so much too. I have to deal with other humans too. I also have to deal with my own shortcomings. There's so much to deal with.

I guess that's how you grow up, huh?

But we all know, this post is just me escaping my own incompetence. This post is just me pitying myself. And that I have no real problem other than me being lazy. All is me fault