A concept :
When a ghost possesses a human's body, that human will become like a zombie. Except that it won't spread to others rapidly but it's still contagious. So, as long you're strong spiritually, you can touch them or hold them but you have to always be on your toes because who knows when will your Iman dwindle...the ghost might come for you next.
And tonight, I forgot what I wanted to write down. Something to do with the level of Iman too.
It's just that when you do bad things, what do you think is the reason for it? Is it because your iman is low or...because you got tempted by the devil? Both answers seem right but to me it havens different meaning.
Of course, it's all related to each other like a big circuit. But maybe we can deviate a little bit from the circuit.
Last but not least, I'll try my best to continue writing stories. My skills should be like wine, it gets better with increasing age but, my wine kinda stopped aging. heeeh.
Wednesday 17 October 2018
Monday 15 October 2018
Learning to Love
You may not believe it but the moment I started thinking for myself, I found it hard to love. It was difficult to love my family, my friends or even myself. I started with quite a dry heart.
The only thing I could effortlessly love was, a boy. Whether it was my kpop bias, or my crush. I loved them more than I loved my family.
At first I was okay with this. It was fun, talking about boys and not thinking about what really matters like my family or my studies. But as my brain's frontal lobe (it's where our thoughts are made) started maturing, I found this disgusting. But my condition wasn't going to change by itself. I had to do something to turn things around. To add more volume to my heart.
This is where I learnt to love. I loved the easy and maybe disgusting things first, then I used that feeling to love something that I want to love. Why? Because no matter who or what we love, the love itself is just the same feeling. So we can manipulate the love to go wherever we want it to go. Sounds incredible doesn't it?
Okay, maybe that was hard to digest. I'll give you an example.
As I told you, at first, I loved my crush more than my family. So I know what loving my crush felt like. But the important thing is, you have to venture deep into your feelings. Like, what are you willing to do for him or... I think I have to study further about this. The gist is, search into YOUR love, what makes love, love. How do you know that it's love?
When you finally get it, use that on the things that you want. In this case I used it on my family. Like, if loving my crush means I want to bake cookies for him, I'll bake cookies for my family. If loving my bias means I want to sacrifice my time for him, I'll sacrifice my times for my family. Soon, your brain will be tricked into thinking 'ah, so I love my family.'
You have to get what love means and start with the action. Sooner or later, the love will come and you'll be happier knowing that you naturally love your family.
It may not be the same case for everyone. Maybe not everyone wants to love their family that much, but for me, I have this image of me that I want to become. And in that image, I'm a person who prioritizes my family more than other people. And every second, I work hard to become this ideal image of myself. I'm chasing the illusion of me that I myself created. Disclaimer : of course, everything comes from Allah.
And the point of this post is, loving Allah. It's hard to love Allah, right? Maybe someone finds it easy, but for me it's very difficult. To keep Allah in mind all the time, to love Allah more than your parents...
but your brain can be tricked. To love Allah, I use every ounce of love that I have, every kind of how love should be, and try loving Allah.
So when I was younger, I had a crush. I thought about him all the time. But then this penceramah said, "If you love Allah, you should be thinking of him all the time."
And I thought, oh, just like how I thought of my crush. So I tried to think of Allah all the time, even when I'm doing bad things. I thought of how Allah would hate me, and how I shamelessly live on this earth while ignoring His orders. Anyhow, I just think of Allah.
I'm not sure whether the love for Allah has already existed in my heart or not, but sooner or later, I believe it will come.
The only thing I could effortlessly love was, a boy. Whether it was my kpop bias, or my crush. I loved them more than I loved my family.
At first I was okay with this. It was fun, talking about boys and not thinking about what really matters like my family or my studies. But as my brain's frontal lobe (it's where our thoughts are made) started maturing, I found this disgusting. But my condition wasn't going to change by itself. I had to do something to turn things around. To add more volume to my heart.
This is where I learnt to love. I loved the easy and maybe disgusting things first, then I used that feeling to love something that I want to love. Why? Because no matter who or what we love, the love itself is just the same feeling. So we can manipulate the love to go wherever we want it to go. Sounds incredible doesn't it?
Okay, maybe that was hard to digest. I'll give you an example.
As I told you, at first, I loved my crush more than my family. So I know what loving my crush felt like. But the important thing is, you have to venture deep into your feelings. Like, what are you willing to do for him or... I think I have to study further about this. The gist is, search into YOUR love, what makes love, love. How do you know that it's love?
When you finally get it, use that on the things that you want. In this case I used it on my family. Like, if loving my crush means I want to bake cookies for him, I'll bake cookies for my family. If loving my bias means I want to sacrifice my time for him, I'll sacrifice my times for my family. Soon, your brain will be tricked into thinking 'ah, so I love my family.'
You have to get what love means and start with the action. Sooner or later, the love will come and you'll be happier knowing that you naturally love your family.
It may not be the same case for everyone. Maybe not everyone wants to love their family that much, but for me, I have this image of me that I want to become. And in that image, I'm a person who prioritizes my family more than other people. And every second, I work hard to become this ideal image of myself. I'm chasing the illusion of me that I myself created. Disclaimer : of course, everything comes from Allah.
And the point of this post is, loving Allah. It's hard to love Allah, right? Maybe someone finds it easy, but for me it's very difficult. To keep Allah in mind all the time, to love Allah more than your parents...
but your brain can be tricked. To love Allah, I use every ounce of love that I have, every kind of how love should be, and try loving Allah.
So when I was younger, I had a crush. I thought about him all the time. But then this penceramah said, "If you love Allah, you should be thinking of him all the time."
And I thought, oh, just like how I thought of my crush. So I tried to think of Allah all the time, even when I'm doing bad things. I thought of how Allah would hate me, and how I shamelessly live on this earth while ignoring His orders. Anyhow, I just think of Allah.
I'm not sure whether the love for Allah has already existed in my heart or not, but sooner or later, I believe it will come.
Thursday 11 October 2018
my dream?
So about my dream, you saw that picture of Koolau mountains, Hawaii right? I saw something almost similar in my dream.
So in that dream, me and my family was together at the start. But then , we went through this lonely road and everything started going haywire.
so we got separated and I was alone. I walked through this road alone, and it was dark. Like dusk. I hate that. It's like, the scariest time for me.
Then when I walked on that road, I felt my energy being drained from me. And then out of a sudden a very thin,seriously malnourished tiger jumped on the road and started running. I got scared because I thought it was gonna target me but it kept in running forward in front of me. THEN, a donkey, very malnourished too jumped on the road too and started running after the tiger!
What the hell?!
It didn't only do that. It jumped on the tiger and bite the tiger down and immediately I got scared of the donkey. very scary.
and at the end of road, there's a place that sells car. And that place is full of lies.
So in that dream, me and my family was together at the start. But then , we went through this lonely road and everything started going haywire.
so we got separated and I was alone. I walked through this road alone, and it was dark. Like dusk. I hate that. It's like, the scariest time for me.
Then when I walked on that road, I felt my energy being drained from me. And then out of a sudden a very thin,seriously malnourished tiger jumped on the road and started running. I got scared because I thought it was gonna target me but it kept in running forward in front of me. THEN, a donkey, very malnourished too jumped on the road too and started running after the tiger!
What the hell?!
It didn't only do that. It jumped on the tiger and bite the tiger down and immediately I got scared of the donkey. very scary.
and at the end of road, there's a place that sells car. And that place is full of lies.
Monday 8 October 2018
Not so motivated
yayy I'm feeling down againnn
It's not that I crave being sad or feeling lazy all the time. But sometimes, I wish I can be tired. So that I can just stay low and just observe and assess my surroundings.
I don't remember my dreams too much lately. Guess it's nothing big.
This week I have to present about the blood supply of the brain and what could go wrong and how to treat it. Because in this trigger the patient have difficulty to stand and talk because the blood supply to the brain got blocked, so some of her brain cells can't function well. And the cause of it all is hypertension.
So remember guys, don't stress stress. tho in this trigger, the cause of hypertension may not be stress. It might be because of her diet , plus she's already 50.
Anyway, what I learned was, something small can lead to something big. Because usually, it's that small thing that connects all the big thing.
And one more!
sexual harassment cases in hospitals? So last week, a doctor briefed us on that topic and it happened a lot. And usually, the victims can't really talk about it because
1. It has been normalized
2. The victim doesn't even know that it's a sexual harassment
3. They don't know where to go.
From the short briefing, I believe that, now we know. So, if anything happens in the future, we will know what to do. And the most important thing is, don't turn a blind eye on something. Not just in the case of sexual harassment but also in other things. If you think a problem is going on, please help yourself. So that you won't feel a bigger remorse.
Turning a blind eye is a crime in itself.
It's not that I crave being sad or feeling lazy all the time. But sometimes, I wish I can be tired. So that I can just stay low and just observe and assess my surroundings.
I don't remember my dreams too much lately. Guess it's nothing big.
This week I have to present about the blood supply of the brain and what could go wrong and how to treat it. Because in this trigger the patient have difficulty to stand and talk because the blood supply to the brain got blocked, so some of her brain cells can't function well. And the cause of it all is hypertension.
So remember guys, don't stress stress. tho in this trigger, the cause of hypertension may not be stress. It might be because of her diet , plus she's already 50.
Anyway, what I learned was, something small can lead to something big. Because usually, it's that small thing that connects all the big thing.
And one more!
sexual harassment cases in hospitals? So last week, a doctor briefed us on that topic and it happened a lot. And usually, the victims can't really talk about it because
1. It has been normalized
2. The victim doesn't even know that it's a sexual harassment
3. They don't know where to go.
From the short briefing, I believe that, now we know. So, if anything happens in the future, we will know what to do. And the most important thing is, don't turn a blind eye on something. Not just in the case of sexual harassment but also in other things. If you think a problem is going on, please help yourself. So that you won't feel a bigger remorse.
Turning a blind eye is a crime in itself.
Monday 1 October 2018
Yo.
I haven't been updating much. But I guess I'm doing fine?
I miss typing like crazy. My last presentation I copy pasted everything, I know that is not right but will you let me off just this once?
Lately, I've started watching k-dramas so the animes got pushed to the back a lil bit (with my studies being at the very back). I'm not proud of this,
I miss typing like crazy. My last presentation I copy pasted everything, I know that is not right but will you let me off just this once?
Lately, I've started watching k-dramas so the animes got pushed to the back a lil bit (with my studies being at the very back). I'm not proud of this,
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