Not a fiction

I've strayed far away from my initial focus? I should be focusing on my degree but here I am at 1.13 am figuring out how to make pixel arts...

It's just that this is more exciting to me compared to academics. I'm not sure whether I'm just running away from what I'm supposed to do or I really find this more interesting. My parents would say I'm trying to run away because it seems like I like doing things that are 'easier'.

Are you sure pixel art is easier? (Actually it's quite easy)

I do think that making videos are easier. But honestly, what is it that's really difficult in this world? Anything is easy once you set your mind to it. Once you become stupid and only see one goal in front of you, you don't really care about anything else and just walk straight to it, don't you?

What I'm trying to say is, let's put someone who's really interested and passionate in medical studies in my situation. And let's say that someone is stuck with an animation degree. I'm sure she'll stay up at nights watching those countless youtube videos about medical studies. Trust me, 90% of the infos retained in my head about medical studies are from youtube videos. Oh, is that why I'm stupid? lol

So I'm not really sure if I'm running away or I'm really interested. And whether my parents are right or wrong.

A lot of times I've stated what I really wanted to do and they listened. They do. Only to give me 10 reasons why I should not do what I really want to.

I mean, as a 17 years old, are my wishes that easy to be pushed aside?

I'm really jealous of my friends who are really passionate about their studies. Be it medical, literature, maths, physics, archeologies... They put their whole lives into their studies and apply their studies to their lives. U.Ra.Ya.Ma.Shi.

But maybe it's my fault too for not being more persistent.

How to become an adult in this situation? I'm starting to think my parents aren't the kind of adults I want to be.

Actually my parents told me that I should find money first, then I can do whatever I want to. But I'm getting impatient. Well, I'll just think this degree is also in my path of achieving my dreams.

My dream doesn't stop after graduating. It continues until I die.

Monsters Under The Bed chapter 3

A whole month passed without progress. I came out at night to scare him and he just ignored me. Hiding in his closet and jumpscared him? He stared at me blankly and continued searching for his pajamas. Appeared behind him in the mirror when he's washing his face? He laughed because it was my 3rd week being his monster and I practically looked like a beggar. Is that look even funny? Anyway, I even materialized into his phone to scare him while he was looking at his social media. Didn't work either. I chose that method because he spent most of his time at home looking at social media. He must have an active social media. But none of my scaring method worked.

Tonight will be the same.At this point I'm just thinking of going back and getting my well-deserved vacation. I haven't had a proper rest thinking of ways to scare this kid.

I heard shuffling on the bed. Then an arm dangled beside the bed. I suddenly got an idea to scare him by pulling him under the bed. With a glint of hope, I grabbed his hand.

Before I got to pull it, I felt him tightening his hold on my hand. I stopped my plan for a while, awaiting his next move. Maybe he wanted to take a revenge on me because I've been annoying him for a lot of nights. Maybe he couldn't get a proper sleep too. This kid must hates me a lot.

But nothing else happened. Except for a sense of comfort I got from his tight hold on my calloused hand. Did he just want to hold my hand? For what? I'm a monster. I'm here for the single reason to cause trouble in his life. It's true I've been shifting and sighing under the bed a lot today but why would he comfort me, a monster?

As I was struggling with my inner thoughts, the kid muttered a soft "Good night" before a calm silence took over the room again.

A feeling of security washed over me. What the heck? Did this 8 year old kid just made me, a 1000 year old monster feel safe?

Well...I guess I'll sleep for a bit tonight.