Monday, 22 December 2025

The year is ending..

So it's late December which means, time to recap~

January

On this month, it was the end of my ED posting and the start of my paediatric posting. ED was fun but to the end, it was a bit lonely, what with the floods and all. And also that End of Posting assessment I never want to mention again. All in all, ED wasn't really my cup of tea.

Then my paediatric posting was nice, finally felt like I knew what I was doing. Reviewing patients, deciding the managements, all done with only little help from MOs. My proudest era actually. I went to work without stress and came home just to rest. That posting was fun.

This month was also the start of my mom introducing people in hope of marriage to me. Talked for 2 weeks then poof, not a match. Well, more like he rejected me but that's okay, people are allowed to have opinions and reject you. It's a pity cause I kinda liked him (shh don't tell anyone) but oh well, Allah knows best.

February

This was just the continuation of the previous month. I think I'll skip the months till May..

May

The start of my journey as an anaesthesiology department MO. Didn't think it would suit me, just wanted to see what the job is like since I couldn't find a specific interest yet. But turns out I was quite good in it. Learnt quickly and things. 

But ended up disappointing my specialists. By the end of November, I was quite good at what I'm doing but didn't meet expectations. Got scolded a few times by my specialists cause of my clumsiness, forgetfulness, no common sense-ness, but it was a lesson.

Oh and this was the time, my oncalls, 4 times consecutively, I had to perform CPR on a patient. The first 3 died, and the other 1 survived. I mean, the other 1 was initiated in the ICU, all equipments, present, skills present, even an anaesthetist was there. She was so calm there being the team leader, I wish I could become like her some day.

But by the 4th time CPR I was also kinda calm, and knew what to do. The moment I saw the heart rate of 200, didn't need to see the rhythm, immediately asked for a cardiac monitor. It was me who intubated the patient, so I maintained the airway.(This sentence made me look as if im the hero, actually, quite the opposite, I was the cause of the event. Cause patient developed the cardiac event post intubation) 

After everything got anchored, I went and tried helping them securing the IV line but in the middle of it, patient collapsed, no pulse. Immediately commenced CPR, the anaesthetist was there for morning round, she entered the room and became the team leader. I set the timer and took care of the flow ( Thank God that was my 4th rodeo so I kinda remembered the flow already, if not I would have looked like an idiot in front of the anaesthetist, cos I'm telling you, I didn't study shits)

After 8 minutes, ROSC! Yay~ I was so happy. That day was my post call too, so passed over the, like 9 patients alone, cos my senior had to insert CVL to the patient that we just resuscitated. 

But one satisfaction for me though, that the round that day, though we just had a CPR for breakfast, was quite laid back. And by the end of the round, the senior asked the specialist, OUT OF NOWHERE, to rate me, like, whether I'm okay or not. (That was the exact words)

So the specialist, looked at me, literally up and down, and said "okay je kot"

Bro, that was like, the most malignant specialist. and they asked her to rate me?! Okay, enough said.

Then next day I was in charge of OT, but had no cases, so I went to see my MO in the block area with another specialist. A feared one lah, But I didn't have any intention of running cause I was already there. So I stood there, trying to help. And that specialist, unprompted, said "Anis dah okay, you can go and look around other OT, learn bit by bit"

I was like lah, an unprompted rating. But anyway I was glad, You think it's easy to make them say that?

Yep there's that, but also I told you that I disappointed my other two specialists that believed in me since day one I entered. That was too bad, of course, but there was nothing I could have done. I am disappointing, it's in my nature.


December. 

I officially started working in HOGUM as an anaesthesiology MO. And got prompted to take the Medex by multiple specialists. From Hospital Tanah Merah, to Hospital Kuala Krai, to Hospital Gua Musang. Everyone kept asking me to take the medex. So I guess Im taking it then. Got nothing to do anyway. Got lots actually.

Friday, 4 April 2025

Artificial Intelligence

 I am so frustrated lately cause in my Twitter feeds, it's full of people going against Ai art.

Okay, look. There's no doubt that a human made art is much better than Ai art. Of course. How can you compare a human's product to a robot's? Of course robots will lose. Robots are human made. While humans were made by God, The Creator.. I mean, yeah, we're gonna lose either way.

But I think it's wrong to go against Ai just cause you think Ai art is ugly. Or that it's taking people's jobs. Ai is an advancement in technology. Which you cannot stop.

Okay, if you want to defend artists; I'm sorry to pop your bubbles but Ai is not your enemy. It's their employers. Even before Ai existed, manga writers, game developers have been exploited to their bones, all because they do it out of their own interests. So they don't need much money to hold them to their desks. Their interests is the reason they're doing their jobs. So it's easy to exploit people like that.

Know your enemy.

I mean, your calculators are Ai for goodness sake, what kind of Ai are you fighting?

"You can say that, just wait until Ai take your job"

Okay, the reality is, Ai can't just simply take a human's job if their jobs are exceptional. If your art is good, people who knows it's value will seek it. So, don't worry, focus on ourselves. And learn to adapt.

Thank you.

Forever is a long time

 I used to say I had forever to forget about him. Who? My crush of course. Do you remember Sir Rockapebbly? 


Well, turns out forever is a long time.

I got to know a fair amount of guys but none of them could make me feel...happy? glad? I'm not sure what's the exact feeling. But Sir Rockapebbly, he effortlessly gave me that feeling. 

It's just a kind of excited feeling. 

Like finding something you lost. 

Like seeing someone you missed.


I don't know how to forget him. Maybe I don't like him anymore. But I still am curious. Or maybe I'm just too free.

It's not good when you start missing someone you shouldn't.

Oh and other updates? Well, I'm getting by. I finally have some time to explore my hobbies but I haven't done them yet. I still need more time to recuperate.

I hope I will get the time to myself. Some day. Some day.